How to Overcome Anger?

* This post is mainly intended for married folks. 

People, especially, married folks, attribute the outbursts of anger to the minor differences in opinion, which arise between them. Anger, they feel, mushrooms out of trifle events or incidents, in their lives. After the outbursts of anger, they settle down the differences and apologize to each other. They feel the need to understand each other in a better way. But as soon they settle down for a while, there comes another event or an incident, which triggers the anger again. They again trace out the root of anger to the differences in opinion, arising out of petty issues. They reconcile themselves again only to find the cycle repeating itself - the cycle of anger and reconciliation.

People, deceive themselves in this way, by attributing the outbursts of anger to the general differences in opinion. Some educated ‘kids’, try to show off their maturity. They often say, ‘We need to sit down and talk to each other, and iron out the differences’. They make promises again, never to quarrel, but only to break. This ‘matured-talk’, then becomes a laughing-stock. This matured-talk is again a deception.

Anger.

Anger, in general, matures out of lust. Anger and lust are the obverse and the reverse side of the same coin. One cannot exist without the other. This truth is exemplified in the following verse in the Bhagavad Gita.

“While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them, and from such attachment lust develops, and from lust anger arises.”  (2.62)

The real nature of men and women, in general, is the Atman. Atman is eternally pure. Anything which brings down from the level of the Atman is a degeneration. This degeneration, from the level of the Atman, makes men and women angry. They fight over each other because they find themselves in a state of degeneration, in the bodily plane. In the state of degeneration, any trifle incident can serve as a trigger for this anger.

How does anger work?

Men and women, have in them a so-called ‘spiritual-force’, which comes out of the conservation of the ‘life-force’ in the body. In the spiritual anatomy of the human body, there are seven spheres or seven planes of consciousness, on which the spiritual-force linger. The highest being the plane of the Atman, and the lowest being the plane of the body.

Generally, this force lingers in a lower plane, most of the time. In this plane, men and women often remain prone to anger and other animalistic tendencies. There are several reasons why this spiritual-force linger in this lower plane.

      It (spiritual-force) remains in a lower plane if one remains in the company of the opposite gender all the time. Because the idea of the body brings them down to a lower plane. So, it is highly improbable for married men and women to raise themselves into a higher plane until they shed the idea of the body completely. People may mimic being spiritual, but it doesn’t come without a perfect detachment.

Also, it is highly recommended for meditative folks not to look upon the opposite gender, for it brings down the spiritual-force down to the lowest plane. Men and women remain prone to anger when they are on a lower plane.

It (spiritual-force) remains in a lower plane, because of the loss of life-force in the body. The aftermath of the loss of life-force in the body is the extreme revulsion towards the body. The beauty, which a short while ago appeared in their eyes, in the form of a prince or a princess, now seem like a pig. As a result of this revulsion, people loath the company of the opposite gender, and try to run away from them. Out of this loathing comes the anger. In that state, even a small incident may serve as a spark to trigger the anger.

Anger is like that. 

When the life-force builds up after the loss, they seek the company of the opposite gender again. Thus, the cycle of attraction and loathing continue, as long as they remain in the lower plane or until the body wears them down. In this way, men and women find themselves in a lower plane all the time.

It (spiritual-force) remains in a lower plane if one is attracted towards sense-objects or objects of enjoyment. Attraction towards certain food stuff (food which intends enjoyment), excessive sleep (for it is a kind of bodily attachment), the too much external orientation of the mind, and restlessness of the mind can bring the spiritual force down to a lower plane. Again, men and women, are prone to anger when they find themselves in a lower plane.

The best way to overcome anger is to know the real nature of our being and to progress towards it. Our real nature is the Atman, which is never touched by bodily defilements.

In order to overcome anger, one has to overcome the idea of the body completely. One should overcome all ideas of attraction arising out of this identity. One should refrain from all sense objects completely, to overcome anger.

Therefore, know yourself to be the Atman, and be free from all bodily defilements.

Thank You.

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